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Skateboard Guitar Ohhh! The skatar. So wacky and zingy! Half skateboard. Half guitar. But ALL RAD!!! It’s just so rad! Having a skateboard guitar and all. I named mine the skatar. I’ll tell you all about it!!! I was in film school and they had a film maker come down and explain conceptual art. He showed us his films and talked to us and didn’t explain anything. It was sorta like the guy that goes, “Do you get it?, Do you get it? It’s soooo deeeeppp.” It had such an impact on me; I wanted to try it out. I wanted to be just like this pompous asshole. He was so cool and better than me. Thus, I devised the Ultimate Skate Punk band and invented the skatar. However, later I found out that there have been many other skateboard guitars made and other skateboard guitarists. There’s the Surf Punks, Jefferson Airplane, probably even yer mom plays one. But mine is unique in 3 ways: 1. The skatar has no neck. It’s a zither, not a lute. 2. The skatar has both bass and guitar channels. 3. My skateboard guitar has a unique crude design. I consider each one I build a work of art, like an artist with his/her painting. Mine purposely look awful! 
My current skateboard guitar has a skateboard deck given to me by my good friend, Chris Barker. It’s an old beat up deck that looks like it’s been under water for a year or so. I see images of it sunken into rainwater that collected at the bottom of a pool; that sludge a pool skater has to clean up before skating a pool. Pool skaters are so cool! Duane Peters is the one I know of best. He’s a righteous dude. I got to meet him once because my brother, David Irish, recorded The Hunns one week in history. Well, Chris had pink grip tape that said “RIDE ME” on it. That didn’t fit my design. All the electronics and knobs and such that I’d put on it would cover it up so you couldn’t read it. And it would have some pink grip tape on it and it would luck sissy. I wanted by skatar to look rad! So I peeled that off so that my board would look more wicked rad and punk rock!  The headstock is the most important part of my skateboard guitar. It gives it attitude. The Nightmare Before Christmas/Dr. Suess headstock gives it a wacky look. The skatar sounds pretty wacky, so a wacky curly-Q headstock is fitting. I carved it out of wood using a dremmel and a coping saw.  I fastened on some metal stakes I got from the hardware store for a trust road. My skateboard guitar is basically a skateboard, some pickups and an adapter kit I devised wandering around the hardware store. I string it up through the board and tighten the strings with regular guitar tuning pins. I jerry rig 2 Humbucker guitar pickups and figured out some way to put on the jack. I like to use nails and try no to cover up the skateboard with too much stuff. I want the skateboard deck to be obvious. I even leave the wheels and trucks on. I’ve tried to get a skateboard company to sponsor me, but they never bite. I’ve even tried skateboard truck companies, because the trucks seem to be the most expensive part. A skateboard cost about the same as trucks on their own.  That’s my secret on how to build a skateboard zither with 2 isolated channels for bass and guitar! I use a slide to make the notes and chords. The slide I use is a Hennessy bottle. Hennessy is cognac, not whisky or gin. Some people don’t know that. |
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